Leonard Cohen – Old Ideas Tour, Birmingham. September 8 2013

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The smoothest pensioner in pop glides onto the stage and strikes a stance, legs apart, fedora tilted forward to hide his weathered, expressive face.

So begins the culmination of a lifetime’s dream for me – to see the great man in person, to hear him perform songs that have haunted, sobered and uplifted me since I was old enough to hear them.

Part lecherous uncle, part evangelical preacher, the body may have aged but the wit, the pathos and the soul are as fresh as ever.

Watching him sink to his knees then shimmy around the stage like a fading Fred Astaire, we’re captivated – just as surely as his infamous worm on a hook.

He solemnly addresses the crowd saying he knows that it’s been a while as he didn’t want to impose but then who knows when we’ll meet again. A fleeting acknowledgement that, at his advanced age, this could well be his swan song tour – but boy what a swan song.

Seamlessly moving from tried and tested favourites such as Bird on a Wire, Suzanne and So Long Marianne to his later acerbic hits such as Darkness, Cohen has the audience in the palm of his hand from the get go.

At 79 while others are using a bus pass and reminiscing about lovers long gone, frisky ole Len still has a definite twinkle in his eye.His cock of the walk soft shoe shuffle off stage left makes your heart throb far far more than an elderly man really should be able to manage.

His voice has aged, less like a fine wine and more like velvet covered gravel swirled in a vat of bourbon and then coated in ground glass. So low it reverberates in your feet, your heart and other places.

Sometimes a singer, sometimes a growling poet, crooning and seductive, plaintive and broken but always fascinating, riveting, mesmerising.

In the sarcastic words of Len himself “I was born like this, I had no choice, I was born with the gift of a golden voice.”

A voice and a talent that the world rarely sees, and which will, all too belately, be celebrated and lauded when it finally moves to the tower down the track.

Part way through the show he muses that next year – when he turns 80 – he’s decided to take up smoking again and waxes lyrical about the nurse in sweet little white shoes that he’ll get to offer him up a cigarette on a silver tray, whilst massaging the bubbles from his IV tube.

Musings on growing old disgracefully aside, other highlights of the show included a bitter sweet lament to his thieving former manager Kelley Lynch to whom he ruefully says “we were both guilty.”

There’s a stunningly simple version of Alexandria Leaving sung solo by Sharon Robinson and a barnstorming version of First We Take Manhattan, complete with flashing backlights – the closest thing you’ll get to upbeat with Cohen.

A subdued version of Hallelujah changes the mood again, with white light strafing the audience as the angelic harmonies of backing singers Charley and Hattie Webb interweave with his rumbling take on love and loss.

He’s a whirlwind one minute and an oasis of still contemplation the next. Limitless in his energy and humility, he’s a one-man masterclass in showing them how it’s done.

There’s no backing dancers, costume changes, lasers or pyrotechnics needed, this man is pure entertainment, a 79 years young craftsman who calls himself “a lazy bastard in a suit”.

And what a suit, looking dapper and slick as ever Cohen electrifies the stage with his presence whether he’s dropping to the floor to tell us a man never got a woman back by begging on his knees, to standing, hat in hand like a mourner in New Orleans, as the organ virtuoso Neil Larsen plays gospel.

I for one hope that he has many many more years left to create albums more of his introspective, intimate, sweeping, desolate and glorious work.

With all the drive, energy, talent and sardonic wit that he has at his disposal, when that glorious, gravelly voice finally calls closing time, the world will be a colder, darker and far less humorous place without him.

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will

Leonard Cohen.

Valencia – an extra trip!!

Wasn’t expecting to manage to squeeze another trip in before the BIG one in December but we’ve managed it!!

Found cheap flights to Valencia in Spain for October so off for five nights to celebrate our 7th anniversary.

Not sure what to expect or what to see, so waiting for the obligatory guide book to arrive.

I do know that there is the futuristic looking science museum (which looks like the best swimming pool ever).

Watch this space to hear my observations / ranty moaniness – you know you love it.

Stumbling across a random market in Vinohrady

Meandering from our hotel one morning we are delighted to find a little food market has set up stalls near the metro station in the large park in Vinohrady.

As regular readers (ha ha live in hope) are aware, I do have an overwhelming sense of joy whenever I chance upon a market. There usually follows a ridiculous amount of photo snapping.

Here’s heaps of fresh produce already being snapped up by the locals.

Piles of tempting baked goods threaten to derail my best dieting intentions . . .

While fish stare balefully at passersby from their bed of crushed ice.

Neil is in seventh heaven with a swift half from Ciderland!

Street sights in Prague

Having been up high on Petrin hill we hopped on and off the fantastic little trams that pootle all around the city.

Roaming the back streets and secluded squares dotted around the city we enjoyed getting lost and stumbling across hidden gems. Here’s a selection of snaps of street scenes in Prague.

Here’s some of the lover’s padlocks on the railings overlooking Kampa Island

And lots and lots of stacking dolls – any footy team you fancy

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Lots of ornate wooden copies of the beautiful astronomical clock can be found in all the shops

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Absinth is a rather prominent feature of Prague – how do you fancy it, ice cream, slushie or beer?!

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Artwork and traditional costume outside a Czech restaurant

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We had an AMAZING pizza and to die for dessert at a little Italian restaurant hidden down a back street, took a brief  gander at the tourist stag mecca that is Wenceslas Square and also stumbled across the Czech Symphony Orchestra giving a concert to thousands!

There’s something happening around every street corner from the mundane to the comic to the soul stirringly beautiful. All in all, a phenomenal city to visit that ranks highly in my most see list.

Petrin Tower (or Putin Tower as Neil calls it)

Built as a mini version of the Eiffel Tower, the Petrin Observation tower was built in 1891 for the Jubilee Exhibition

he tower is 60m tall, which doesn’t sound that high until you realise that it sits on top of Petrin Hill, which is 318m high. (It adds up to a rather vertiginous view)

You can either walk up to the tower (nah) or take one of my favourite methods of transport – THE FUNICULAR!!!! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

Even better, the funicular forms part of the Prague public transport network, so a single ticket for travel on trams, buses and the metro is also valid on the funicular.

On arrival at the top of Petrin hill you can take in some gorgeous rose gardens and sniff yourself giddy on the sumptuous rambling old roses.

Me, posing, amongst the multitude of roses.

Then you can head to the mini homage to the Parisian masterpiece – The Petrin Tower!

There’s 299 steps to the top – and the lift was out of order . .

View on the way up . .

But the pay off for all the huffing and puffing up the steps (wondering why no one is coming down) is the best view of Prague anywhere.

Tiny Charles Bridge

Tiny tower on Charles Bridge

Well worth the exertion and heading down I realised that there was a separate staircase, spiraling like a double helix around the upward staircase, which is why I didn’t encounter any descending tourists

(Was a trifle concerned they had all passed out at the top!!!)

The Charles Bridge, Prague

Men dressed as giant condoms and the gaggles of hen parties aside, Prague has some truly amazing sights to see.

One of the most iconic sights is the Charles Bridge.

The impressive bridge spans 621 metres across the Vltava river.

It is almost 10 metres wide while 30 statues, 16 arches and three bridge towers add to the impact of this formidable piece of history.

Artists, craftspeople and caricaturists set up shop along its length during the day.

 Views of one of the bridge towers

Construction started in 1357  and finished in the beginning of the 15th century.

Designed by Peter Parler the bridge replaced the former Judith Bridge that had been badly damaged by a flood.

Half way across the bridge a flight of steps leads down to give you access to Kampa Island. When we were there stalls, music and roasting meat gave it a Bavarian air.

If you look closely you can see the hundreds of padlocks on the railings left by couples to symbolise their ever lasting love. (Ahhhhhh)

There is a modern art museum situated on the island, but sadly, due to the recent flooding, it was closed for refurbishment.

Peering into the courtyard we could see the brightly coloured exhibits strewn across the floor and jumbled together, a testament to the power of the water.

The disturbing giant babies by David Cerny at Kampa Modern art museum. 

One of the bridges most often photographed attractions are the 30 statues ranged along its length.

Most sculptures were erected between 1683 and 1714. They depict various saints venerated at the time.

Here’s a few of them.

Prague Castle

One of the main sights is the impressive Prague castle that dominates everything from its commanding position above the city.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Prague Castle is the largest coherent castle complex in the world, with an area of almost 70,000 square metres.

It’s also a UNESCO World Heritage site and is crammed full of awe inspiring architecture such as the Gothic St.Vitus’s Cathedral pictured below.

St.Wenceslas, the main Czech patron saint, is buried in the Cathedral that towers up from the courtyard.

There’s so much to marvel at including the huge ornate rose window with its jewel bright stained glass.

Here’s part of the stunning stained glass window by Alphonse Mucha that was installed in the north nave in 1931.

The window shows St. Wenceslas as a boy with his grandmother St. Ludmila in the centre, it’s surrounded by scenes from the lives of Saints Cyril and Methodius who spread Christianity among the Slavs.

The Golden Gate marks the southern entrance to the cathedral. It’s decorated with a beautiful gilded mosaic of the Last Judgement and dates from the 14th century.

Other sights in the complex include Golden Lane that dates from the 15th Century and has eleven historic houses where period scenes have been recreated to show the life of the artisans who once worked, ate, drank and slept in them.

From the castle walls you have a stunning view of the terracotta roofs of the city stretching into the distance.

Meander your way back down to the city through the castle gardens, slopes covered in green vineyards, rambling roses and the buzzing of hundreds of industrious bees.

First impressions of Prague – stunning, scorching and an Astronomical clock

We staggered off the night train, blinking and yawning into the glaring heat of the Prague morning. Half seven and already 27 degrees. Not a good start for a vampire shade seeker like me.

First stop, we needed to ditch the bags so head straight to our hotel. The marvellous Louren Hotel, situated in Vinohrady which is in neighbourhood 2.

It’s not in the old town centre but a super simple ten minute journey from the centre on the green metro line. Just hop off at the Jiriho z Podebrad stop.

You can find out more about  Louren hotel on their website. 

I can heartily recommend it, marvellous service, lovely rooms and a great place to stay if you do not want to be right in the hectic centre of Prague.

Once unburdened we headed back into the old town centre to check out some of the awe inspiring architecture of Prague.

Arriving just before the hour in the old town square – Staroměstské náměstí – we were perfectly placed to see one of the main tourist sights, the Astronomical Clock striking the hour.

This beautiful piece of time keeping art dates from the 15th century.

The clock is intricately constructed, and each hour crowds of people gather to watch the procession of the Twelve Apostles.

Every hour, a small trap door opens and Christ marches out ahead of his disciples, while the skeleton of death tolls the bell in a grim nod to the passage of time.

Four figures flank the clock and these represent things that were despised at the time of the clock’s making. From left to right the first is vanity, represented by a figure admiring himself in a mirror.

Next, the miser holding a bag of gold represents greed. Across the clock stands Death, a skeleton that strikes the time upon the hour. Finally, the Turk represents pleasure and entertainment.

Below the Astronomical Clock are 12 medallions with the signs of the zodiac, added by Josef Manes in 1865.

Apparently the clock maker was blinded on the orders of the Prague council to make sure he could never make something so beautiful again. Nice.

All aboard the night train . . .

No apologies for using the title of one of my all time favourite cheesy mid 90s dance tunes in the name of this post!

Waving goodbye to Poland we got set to board the night train to Prague. Leaving Krakow at 10.01pm it rolls into the Czech Republic at 7.30am.

For some reason you can’t easily book Polish rail tickets online without using a third party so we opted for the services of Polrail to buy the tickets on our behalf.

We got them to post the tickets to us at home before we arrived in Poland. Slightly apprehensive at first about doing it this way but they provided a quality service and the tickets were dispatched in good time.

You can contact them here: www.polrail.com

We scoped out the train station the night before just to make sure we knew which platform the train left from as the train timetables are rather large, unwieldy and not conducive to a quick scan in a hurry!

Here’s Neil about to board the night train. Check you’re in the right compartment as the train splits at some point in the night, some carriages go to Prague, others head off to Budapest!!

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Here’s the interior of our cosy home for the night, a two berth couchette. Complete with hidden sink (demonstrated below) two bunk beds and very warm bottled water! The room was SUPER hot as it was a roasting day

We were warned to put the window up when we went to sleep (I can only assume it is to stop the person on the top bunk flying feet first out of it while they slumber!)

After enjoying the novelty of sitting at the window watching the night time scenery fly past for a few hours Neil slept like a baby.

I lay awake all night . . . it was not the quietest of nights due to the shunting and bumping as the train decoupled carriages and adds others, not to mention the station announcements throughout the night.

We were woken (those who slept) by the guard giving us a morning wakeup call and a tea and croissant. All in all a novel experience that made me feel like a proper (albeit knackered) traveller!!! (I can now see the attraction of cris- crossing a country by rail)

Arriving at Prague it was already 27 degrees at half seven in the morning . .. no signs of the previous flooding. It was going to be a scorcher!!!

Blow to the ego but digital learning!

(This post relates to my old blogger site BTW)

Mixing up the posts a little now, a bit of travel, a bit of digital learning through trial and error!

Today’s lesson – viewers, audience and discrepancies between the figures on Blogger’s stats and Google analytics.

A while ago I managed to install Google analytics to track page views and visits to the ole blog (I know, clever me!!)

But I was slightly confused about the far healthier stats I was getting reported on Blogger (30/40 hits a day) compared to the meagre hits that GA told me in a slightly glum and censorious tone (5 per day!!)

For a while I was content to skip along in blissful ignorance and go by the far better Blogger stats, but, in the spirit of trying to get to grips with this here internet, digital malarkey, I thought I better check out why there is such a discrepancy.

Turns out that GA is by far the most accurate and reliable source of visits (but also the most soul destroyingly honest) where as Blogger, like a kind relative that assures you that “yes dear you have talent” records every little cough, spit and interaction that the world wide web makes with your site.

This means including the creepy spiderbots that “crawl” the internet and your pages for content to index.

So most of my visitors, that I had hoped were of the fleshy human variety, are actually virtual crawlers, swarming my site on a daily basis and inflating my score (and ego) artificially!!

BOOOO and a little bit flesh crawly . . . .

Oh well, you live and learn . . .